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The arithmetic of a good time
My Snags Surprise me

Tangled Thistle

Walk It Twice

One walk in working daylight, with a tape measure, starting at the loading dock.

The Workroom · Venue Evaluation System

One walk in working daylight, with a tape measure, starting at the loading dock. One walk at the hour the event actually happens, when the light is what the guests will get and the room is doing what rooms do after dark. A venue that survives both is a venue. A venue that only survives the first is a photograph.

The tour is a sales presentation until you turn it into an interview

You are shown a room with the blinds open, the house lights up, an empty parking lot and no neighbors home. Somebody with a key and a script walks you through a space that has been staged to agree with you. Forty minutes later you remember the light, and you have forgotten to ask who owns the folding chairs, what is already drawing on the panel on a Saturday night, and whether the accessible route is a route or a ramp in a closet.

Then the contract is signed, and the building stops negotiating.

These forms are how you ask before it does. Thirteen forms: nine walks in the order the building gives them to you and a second walk after dark, a one-page on-site reference for the arithmetic you cannot look up on a loading dock, the ten questions that expose the real event, and a sign-off sheet that turns the walked pages into a record somebody else can rely on.

This page is built to be printed. Use your browser’s print command and it comes out as a field set — one form per sheet, ruled to be written on with a pencil, at Letter or A4. Everything else on the screen stays behind. Print it the morning of the visit; the paper is the point.

A fact with no name against it is a rumor with a checkmark beside it

Every form carries three marks rather than one: P where the room passes for the event you are actually planning, F where it fails, and ? where you could not check. A question mark is not a pass. It stays visible, it goes on the sign-off sheet, and you do not sign a contract with any of them outstanding.

Two of these are vetoes rather than deductions. A failed accessible route and a failed egress are not outweighed by a beautiful room. Everything else on the comparison is a trade; those two are not.

Form 01 is below, in full and free

So you can see exactly what the other twelve are like before you decide. Print it, take it to your next site visit, and see whether it changes the conversation.

Form 01

Approach and Arrival

Guests arrive before they arrive. Everything on this page happens while the venue still thinks the event has not started.

The last two hundred meters

Is the entrance findable at speed, in the dark, from the direction guests will come?Drive it. Do not look at a map.
PF?
Can a coach or shuttle make the turn into the site?Swing, overhang and the gatepost nobody moves.
PF?
Is there a point where a guest would doubt they were in the right place?
PF?
Signage permitted at the road, and by whom?
PF?

The curb

How many vehicles can unload simultaneously without blocking the road?The valet captain is running the curb, not parking cars.
PF?
Is the drop-off covered, and is it covered for the length of the line?
PF?
Where does the second car wait?
PF?
Is there a separate accessible drop-off with a level route from it?
PF?

Parking and the walk in

Guest spaces counted on site
spaces
Crew and vendor spaces
spaces
Distance, furthest space to entrance
meters
Surface of that walk
—
Lighting on that walk after dark
—

Waiting

Where does a guest stand in weather while waiting to be admitted?There is always a line. There is not always shelter.
PF?
Coat and bag handling — space, staffing, and the line at the end of the nightCoat check is furniture or it is a system. Decide which.
PF?
What is the first room a guest sees, and what is it doing at that moment?
PF?